


Faded Memories

by Weevilo707



Series: Angus: Prince of the Astral Plane [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Emotions, Family Bonding, Fluff, Gen, Past Character Death, angus: prince of the astral plane, this was supposed to be fluff but then feelings happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-13 02:25:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19241932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707
Summary: It had been ages since Kravitz had thought about his past, the life he had before he became a reaper. With Angus now though, he felt more alive than he had in centuries. His mind couldn't help but wander back there somewhat ever now and then.He wanted to be able to share some of it with Angus, whatever little was left.





	Faded Memories

It was a pretty quiet day all things considered. Angus was ever steadily getting older, but Kravitz still wasn’t called off onto bounties too often. It used to be that sitting around all day without much to do bothered him. He liked to be out and about, work was never done in the kingdom of death and as a reaper he had to be prepared to go off and enforce the laws of death at a moment’s notice.

He didn’t mind it, he existed for the satisfaction of righting the crimes committed by those arrogant or desperate enough to go against the order of life and death. His Queen used to have to insist on him taking breaks every few years or so, or else he had the tendency to wear himself ragged.

It used to be hard to remember that there was a life outside of his work as death.

Or at least, it was before Angus. So much had changed once Angus came into his life. For one thing, he started referring it as his  _ life  _ again.

And something that would have left him feeling restless and unproductive in the past felt calming now. He was sitting at one end of the couch, doing some upkeep in the book of bounties he had open in front of him. Nothing strenuous, just making sure it was all up to date. It was normally work he left to some of the less ancient reapers. Angus was sitting on the other end of the couch, curled up with his own book. His was a simple Caleb Cleveland book, but it was probably more interesting than Kravitz’s from a narrative standpoint.

It was nice though. Kravitz had put on a record that was playing quietly in the background, and he couldn’t help but be a bit thankful for the chance to relax. He wasn’t too sure how long they were like that before Angus spoke up.

“Hey dad?” he asked, and Kravitz made a humming noise to let him know he was paying attention. Angus seemed to understand, continuing. “Do you remember a lot from when you were alive?” he asked, and Kravitz blinked, the question taking him off guard. It wasn’t unusual for Angus to ask some left field questions with little to no prompting. The boy’s mind always seemed to be working.

“Bits and pieces, it was all so long ago now it’s a little spotty,” he answered truthfully. It wasn’t something he thought of often, for a long time he had gotten so used to his routine and work as a reaper that he didn’t have any reason to think about what he’d been before all of this. There were times now where he wished he’d made a greater effort to preserve his living memories, but there was little he could do about that now. “Why do you ask?” he asked back, pretty curious about what had gotten Angus on this line of thought. In response though Angus shrugged, turning back to his book.

“I dunno. You don’t mention it much, so I was just kinda curious,” he said, and Kravitz nodded a bit absently. That was fair enough, and he couldn’t blame Angus for being curious. There were a lot of strange things with Angus’s life that he deserved to question, Kravitz’s own past being the least of them.

He was quiet for a moment as he thought, trying to come up with something to tell Angus about his actual  _ life. _ He’d mentioned things to here every so often of course, it wasn’t something he intentionally avoided talking about or anything like that. Even still, he found himself a bit at a loss.

Suddenly he got an idea and shut the book of bounties in his lap, letting it disappear with a flick of his wrist. Angus was looking up at him curiously now.

“Would you like to go see where I grew up Angus?” he asked, and immediately the curious look shifted into excitement.

“Yeah! When? Can we go now?” he asked, already climbing off the couch and looking around. If Kravitz had to guess probably for his shoes. He couldn’t help but chuckle some at that reaction, not that it seemed to bother Angus any.

“I don’t see why not,” he said. By now Angus had grabbed his shoes and were putting them on. There were few things Kravitz could remember from his life, but there were still some he was pretty clear on. Even if he wasn’t though, he was getting a lot better at keeping track of the seasons and such since starting to take care of his son. “Don’t forget your jacket,” he said. Angus nodded, quickly running off to his room. When he came back he had one arm shoved through his sleeve, struggling slightly with the other one.

Kravitz knelt down next to him, helping to fix the sleeve that had gotten all bunched up so he could fit his arm through it. He’d probably have to buy Angus a new jacket next year. It always surprised him just how fast he was growing.

“Can we go now?” Angus asked, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet in excitement. Kravitz smiled and nodded, standing back up to his full height and summoning his scythe.

“I suppose there's no reason not to,” he said, and with that Kravitz thought of the place he hadn’t been in centuries now and cut a quick portal with his scythe. Immediately Angus was running through, and Kravitz could feel the fond smile on his face as he followed after him. The portal immediately closed behind him as Kravitz stepped out into a snowy field. Angus was looking around, clearly trying to take in as much as possible. Of course, there wasn’t all that much to actually see.

“I’m sorry if it’s a bit underwhelming, there had been a bit more around back when I was alive,” he said. It was still pretty early in the winter, so the snow was only up a little above his ankles, but Kravitz could remember it getting knee deep back in life.

The soft rolling fields around them were pretty bare from a quick glance. They were spotted with trees here and there, a thicker forest not too far off in the distance. A few farm houses were scattered here and there, not in any of the places Kravitz could remember. An old,  _ old _ short stone wall ran along their left, weathered and marking a path that led to nothing now.

Angus must’ve marked that as the closest thing of note, walking through the snow over to it. He ran his hands along the top, brushing off snow. Kravitz immediately regretted not insisting he bring gloves as he headed over to him.

“Where did you live? Was your house around here?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded.

“Down near the end of this path. We can head over there if you’d like, but if it’s too cold I’d understand if you’d rather head back,” he said. He doubted Angus minded the cold too much, he seemed to be a bit less bothered by that than the average human would due to his connection to the astral plane.

He could understand if this was all just a bit more boring than he’d hoped for. Angus shook his head though, climbing up on top of the wall.

“I’m fine! Let’s go see,” he said, starting to walk along the top of the wall. Kravitz couldn’t help the smile on his face at that, nodding and walking alongside Angus. Every so often he would have to throw his arms out to keep his balance, the wall a bit uneven underneath the snow. After a bit Kravitz reached out, grabbing one of his son’s hands so that he could walk a bit more steady.

“Was this wall here when you were a kid?” Angus asked, and Kravitz nodded. 

“It was, and I  _ do _ remember falling off of it more than my fair share of times, so be careful,” he said. Angus snorted a little at that, but nodded none the less.

“You said there was more stuff here when you were alive?” he asked, obviously curious to know as much about this as possible. Kravitz wracked his mind, searching deep in his memory for whatever concrete bits he could grab onto.

“I believe so. Mostly farms still, but more of them. There was a market too, and a small park I think? I remember a gazebo, down uh,” Kravitz paused, Angus stopping with him as he looked around and tried to picture this place as it had been hundreds of years ago. “Down over there, at the base of that hill. People would gather there for all sorts of things, I remember playing there a lot,” he said. Angus stared off at where he was pointing, clearly trying to image it.

“Do you think there’s anything left of it?” he asked, and Kravitz shook his head.

“I doubt it, I’m pretty sure the thing had been made of wood. If someone hadn’t taken it down for being an eyesore I’m sure the weather would have taken care of it,” he said.

“Can we go check it out after we see your house?” Angus asked anyway, and Kravitz supposed there was no harm in it.

“I don’t see why not. I don’t want you staying out here in the cold for  _ too _ long though, alright?” he said, and Angus nodded. He didn’t look too happy about that, but he also didn’t seem inclined to argue.

“Yeah sure, just those two places,” he relented. They were almost at the end of the wall now, and Kravitz looked up at the place where his childhood home had once been. He could roughly remember what it looked like, but most of it was faded with time. He could remember that it had been two stories, but he couldn’t remember the color. He knew there had been flowers out front that his mother had cultivated with pride. He had no idea anymore if they had been roses or tulips or carnations, or something else all together. He just remembered the bright colors and getting stung by more than one bee when playing among them.

Once they reached the end of the wall Kravitz helped Angus jump down, his son letting go of his hand to run off and inspect the area.

“So this is where your house was?” he asked, and Kravitz nodded as he followed after him.

“Just about, it’s a little fuzzy,” he said. Walking around the area, some of the faded memories felt a little bit clearer. “The house would have been about here,” he said, moving through a large blank patch. “The fields started behind the house, we raised sheep. A few goats too, but it was mostly wool. I believe we made fabric,” he said, feeling as much like he was talking to himself as he was explaining it to Angus.

“Can we get a sheep?” Angus asked, and Kravitz snorted, shaking his head.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, there’s not much grass in the astral plane,” he said. Angus frowned, looking a little disappointed at that.

“I guess that’s true,” he relented. There really wasn’t a lot left here though, and after a bit Kravitz felt like Angus had seen all there was to see.

“So, you want to go check out where the gazebo was and then head back?” he asked, and Angus nodded.

“Yeah, okay I guess that works,” he said. The quickest way to the spot Kravitz could remember the gazebo being was cut across a field, and he led the way. Angus would wander off into the snow before heading back, sometimes running off ahead. The area was wide enough and they were alone, so Kravitz wasn’t worried about his safety.

It took a little while walking through the snow, but eventually they happened upon the area Kravitz was almost certain the gazebo used to be. One thing he could remember very clearly was heading out there most days, usually to play music. It hadn’t been much of a money maker if memory served, but he enjoyed it, and so had everyone else from what he could remember.

“This should be about the place,” he said. It was just a clear patch at the base of the hill now from what Kravitz could tell. Angus started kicking around in the snow, looking for any remnants. Kravitz wasn’t very surprised when he didn’t seem to find anything. “Like I said, I’m sure it was taken down ages ago,” he said.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Angus relented, seeming slightly disappointed. Kravitz supposed this whole thing hadn’t been as exciting as he’d hoped, but there was something nice about showing Angus around the place he’d grown up, even with so much changed and the memories as faded as they were.

Angus was heading back over to him when suddenly his foot caught on something in the snow and he went tumbling forward. Kravitz immediately rushed to his side, kneeling down in the snow as Angus got up to his knees.

“Are you alright? Let me see you,” Kravitz said, trying to brush some of the snow off of Angus. For his part Angus barely seemed to mind the fall, not paying much attention to Kravitz’s worrying.

“I’m fine, I just got caught on something,” he said, already turning around and brushing more snow away from where he fell. Kravitz watched from over his shoulder, curious despite himself. He doubted it would be much, but maybe a stump or something from the gazebo had survived, just some proof that it had been here where he remembered.

As he cleared the snow though, it wasn’t anything Kravitz could remember from his life here. Despite that he recognized it instantly, even as broken and worn as it was.

A small flat headstone, half of it broken and sticking up slightly from where it should lay, which was probably what had caught Angus’s foot. It must’ve been hundreds of years old, although the part with the dates seemed to be too worn to make much out.

Kravitz supposed he should say something as he watched Angus trace what was still visible of the name. He couldn't though. It was like his voice had been stolen from him as he stared in shock.

“It’s your first name,” Angus muttered after a moment, breaking Kravitz out of his stupor. He blinked, forcing himself back to the present and moving forward some so he could get a better look.

“What was that?” he asked, not sure what he meant.

“Kravitz is your first name, I wasn’t really sure but never bothered to ask. See, your last name starts here, but it’s cut off,” Angus explained, tracing the worn down M that was left, the rest broken off like he said.

For the life of him, he couldn’t remember what would have been written there. He’d gone by just the one name for so long, whatever his last name had been was lost to time.

It surprised Kravitz how unfazed Angus was by all of this, but he supposed maybe he shouldn’t be. Angus had grown up with death as a parent and a guide, he’d never known Kravitz as anything but. His life had been so long ago, he supposed it shouldn’t have been much of a big deal.

There was something unsettling about seeing his own grave though. He’d never come back here to check, had never thought twice to. There was something even worse about seeing his grave ancient and broken and so clearly forgotten. It was simply the way things worked, but it felt wrong to see it.

“Dad? Are you okay?” Angus asked, soft concern in his voice. Kravitz quickly nodded, forcing himself to climb back to his feet.

“Yes, yes I’m fine dear. I’m just a little surprised is all, I had no idea this was out here,” he said, taking a deep breath. The cold air was sharp and helped to clear his head a bit.

“You didn’t know you were buried out here?” Angus asked, also standing up out of the snow now. He was still staring down at the remains of the gravestone, seeming somewhat lost in thought. Kravitz shook his head, glancing around some.

“No, although it’s- I suppose it makes sense. I’d loved this old place, spent nearly all the time I wasn’t supposed to be sheering sheep out here,” he said, sighing softly. Angus nodded slowly, before finally taking his eyes off of the grave.

“Hey dad? I’m getting kinda cold,” he said, and Kravitz jolted slightly, immediately reminded of the freezing temperature around them.

“Right, of course. I’m sorry darling, let’s head home,” he said, and Angus nodded. Taking one quick glance back down at the grave, Kravitz summoned his scythe and cut a clean slash, opening a portal back home. It shut behind them the same way it always did, and Kravitz was sure he was imagining the note of finality it made.

Immediately Kravitz ushered Angus to his room, telling him to go change into some dry clothes. Angus went without much fuss, and while he was in his room Kravitz went and started some hot chocolate. He still wasn’t that good of a cook, but he felt like he had a slightly better handle on drinks. At the very least, Angus seemed to appreciate it when he came back out.

Sitting on the couch drinking their hot chocolates, Kravitz still wasn’t too sure how he felt. It wasn’t like he didn’t know that logically he had a grave somewhere. It’d been so long since he thought about anything like that though.

He’d felt so alive since he started raising Angus. It stung sometimes, having those sharp reminders of how much he wasn’t.

“Would it be weird if we left flowers at your grave? I know that’s what you’re supposed to do, but you’re still here. I could just give you the flowers,” Angus asked suddenly, and Kravitz snorted in laughter.

“You don’t have to give me any flowers Angus, but I appreciate the sentiment,” he said. Angus shrugged, still looking like he was debating it.

“Well, even if you don’t want flowers we should find a park with a gazebo. I’m sure if we looked we could find one like the one you used to go to,” he said, and Kravitz wasn’t sure why but he found himself having to blink rapidly, trying to prevent any tears from forming in his eyes.

“I think I would really like that Angus, thank you,” he said, wrapping an arm around his son and pulling him into a side hug. Angus didn’t say anything else, just continuing to lean against him as he finished his hot chocolate.

Kravitz still wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve a son like Angus. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve a life so long after his death. The hundreds of years spent serving his Queen still somehow felt inadequate.

It was far from the first time that Kravitz offered up a quick, silent prayer of thanks to the Raven Queen. Even if he wasn’t sure if he deserved it, Kravitz was certain he wouldn’t trade this for anything.

**Author's Note:**

> so i meant to write just a quick little drabble because i didn't have the time to write a full chapter for this update and it's father's day so i Gotta put up something, but then this ended up being nearly as long as a full chapter. So there's that. Still, this was fun to write, I'm not sure _exactly_ what point in the fic this takes place at, but Angus is a little bit younger than he is in canon here. 
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy~


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